Please Don’t Kill Your Baby
I was riding the bus the other day when a woman with a baby stroller came on. Now, there’s a spot RIGHT AT THE FRONT OF THE BUS for people in wheelchairs or for mothers with baby carriages, yet she chose to push the damn this all the way to the middle of the bus, almost cutting some people’s legs off and sneering at them for being in her way.
She settles next to where I’m standing and proceeds to make googoo noises, pull crazy faces and repeatedly CLAP HER HANDS at the poor child staring up at her. Now, this was one of the youngin’s that I actually like, one that you could tell had a brain because he had intelligent eyes, taking in everything around him, that sort of thing. No unfocused eyes and drool soaking his shirt, you know? He was a little older (1? 1 1/2? Not old enough to talk, but not a newborn, either) with a mat of silky black hair and big blue eyes.
Eyes that were staring at the woman standing over him AS IF SHE WERE CRAZY.
What really caught my attention was the little thing the child was wrapped in. It looked like a space-aged sleeping bag, made of this shiny, reflective silvery fabric and totally encased the poor child. He also had on winter clothes.
It was 65°. It was the middle of MAY.
Then, SHE PROCEEDED TO PUT A WOOL HAT ON HIS HEAD!
The kid actually started whining at that point, I don’t know, maybe because he was fucking HOT?
Are you kidding me with this, lady? You’re going to boil your poor kid to death with that shit, or else give him heat stroke! It’s probably your first baby and you just want to be protective, but you need to loosen up a little bit. Yes, he’s a baby, but he’s still HUMAN. You’re human, or at least I assume so. Maybe a sweater would have been okay, but would YOU have wanted to go around that day in a sleeping bag, winter clothes and a wool hat? COMMON SENSE, please pick some up at your nearest Walgreens.
May 21st, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Perhaps the child was TOO intelligent if you know what I mean! Perhaps he knew things she didn’t want him to know and she was trying to kill him but in a way where she could go “Ohhh I didn’t think wrapping him up warm would kill him… I guess I’m just an overprotective first-time mother”.
Loving the blog by the way.
May 26th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
One of the things as a parent and a relatively intelligent man, is all of the marketing crap that comes at you when you become a parent. Every conceivable piece of home-grown wanna be invention for kids is thrown at you.
Riddle me this batman, why do I need to pay 5x more for a gate to keep my kids away from stairs, when I can get the same damn thing at a PetCo store designed for dogs for much less money?
All of the “Must-have” gear and crap is a market for people who are not parents to give people who are about to be parents. The most f%$*&ing crazy thing I have seen? An inflatable helmet “Baby No Bumps” you strap on your kid to crawl around the house with! COME ON PEOPLE! ENOUGH!