Spa Treatments For 4 Year Olds?
So I was late leaving for work this morning (*sigh* big surprise) and I caught the first few minutes of The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet on Fox. Now I had never heard of this show before, so I’m not sure how widely syndicated it is, but suffice it to say that it’s like Regis and Kelly on crack. They pick the most ridiculous stories to cover and ask the most obviously poised to create drama and unnecessary controversy questions, from what I can tell from their website.
This morning one of their stories was about the growing trend of mothers taking their toddler daughters for spa treatments: manicures, pedicures, facials, massages, waxing– the whole enchilada as some of the gringos at work say when they are trying to fit in with the Bilingual Editors. In the interest of appearing to be fair, there were two sets of guests, one mother and her four year old daughter who go to the spa all the time and see nothing wrong with it and another mother and her sixteen year old daughter who is forbidden to go to the spa. The spa loving mother’s argument was (and I’m quoting directly) “I want my daughter to know that she is a princess in my eyes and a princess in god’s eyes.” She also said that she wants her daughter to know that she should be pampered and take good care of herself so guys in the future won’t take advantage of her. How the hell is this little girl going to grow up with a healthy sense of self? Once she is old enough to understand how the real world works, she is going to realize that she isn’t that special and she will no doubt be crushed and drown herself in the local spa’s hot tub. I am all for promoting self-esteem, but fostering a sense of entitlement to be waited on hand and foot is damaging in the long run. Perhaps a manicure as a rare treat or in preparation for a special event is okay as many little girls love doing “big girl” things, but having your daughter be accustomed to this sort of treatment on a regular basis will warp her sense of reality.
On the other hand, I think forbidding your sixteen year old from attending the spa EVER is a little extreme. Sixteen year olds, while not exactly rational human beings, are capable of recognizing the treatment you receive at a spa as a luxury and not a right. Being a teenager can be wicked stressful and maybe girls would stop beating each other up and sleeping with their teachers if they got a massage every once in awhile. Being able to relax is very important when the stress of life as you teeter on the precipice between childhood and adulthood is overwhelming. This mother’s argument was that spa’s promote an unhealthy expectation of what women should look like, how they should groom themselves for society’s benefit. I think that a sixteen year old can decide for herself if she wants to get her nails done or have a facial. I don’t think participating in these activities sparingly will make a teenager think that she has to put this amount of time, effort and money into her appearance on a daily basis. The teenagers who believe that are going to believe that whether or not they are permitted to indulge in a spa.
Personally, I’ve never been to a spa per-se and have only had my nails done for the two proms I attended in high school. However, I can see the benefit of getting pampered and perhaps when I have more discretionary income I will treat myself to such. But seeing as the economy is being strangled closer and closer to oblivion with each day that passes, I don’t see myself being able to afford this luxury any time soon.
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:26 pm
The spa for toddlers sounds like just an extension of that “never say no” to my child trend that has been hitting parenting.
One of my relatives has gone that direction with his kids, and apparently even when the kid is about to do something DANGEROUS, you don’t say no, you distract them because the kid will get upset.
Someone, somewhere along the way is BOUND to say ‘no’ to this child. It’s a part of life. And I’m afraid this narcissistic, overly-rosy world these kids are growing up in is going to make them emotional wrecks when they get out there as adults and don’t receive the same treatment.
Or else perhaps they’ll just never leave the nest at all.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:01 am
I agree.
I’m not one to tell you what to do with your money, but at the same time — you do have the responsibility to raise your child right, so that she’ll contribute to the community. Teaching her lessons like this is unfair to you, the child, and everyone who has to interact with her in the future.
July 25th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
I agree that the small child spa treatment is not a good thing to allow. Not only dos it give in to the child thinking everything shold be handed to them, but teaches them it’s OK to live in exess.