Yeah, Great Blog…

I read this article about how the color of you car says something about you as a person.

People who own emerald green automobiles, it turns out, have the most positive attitude about the course of their own lives.

Dark blue and silver are other colors chosen by upbeat people.

Red supposedly connotes an aggressive, high-speed personality, while yellow, theoretically, is for folks with sunny dispositions.

I own a yellow car. But, I’d hardly say I have a sunny disposition. FAR FROM IT.

People whose car is:	Have confidence that is:
Emerald green	5.5% above average
Dark blue	3.2% above average
Silver	1.2% above average
White	Average
Sunny yellow	3.7% below average
Orange	4.1% below average
Bright blue	5.5% below average
Bright yellow	8.3% below average
Red	8.8 % below average
Black	14.6% below average

I mean, at least my confidence level is only 3.7% below average, right? Or would my car be classified as “bright yellow” and not “sunny yellow”? In that case, I’m a basket case!

I’d say this is a crock of shit, really. I know plenty of people who completely contradict those results. Who did they poll, anyway? Who are these 1,900 Americans?

Sedate colors, not surprisingly, correlate with consistent moods. But if a primary color suddenly fills your rear-view mirror—well, it’s probably best to get out of the way.

There are better clinical indicators of mental health, needless to say, but Art Spinella of CNW says car color can be a useful “people-matching” tool.

“Your accountant should drive something silver,” he advises.

Interesting.

People whose car is:	Experience:
Black, dark blue, or silver	Consistent moods
White, sunny yellow, or bright blue	Modest mood swings
Orange, red, bright yellow, or emerald green	The most pronounced mood swings

Well, I do have some mood swings when I’m driving, but the severity of the swings depends on the mood I was in prior to the change. Like, if I was pissed off already, chances are you’ll see some road rage! If I was calm, chances are I’ll let most things slide. Maybe.

Or, to be more specific, SLEEP.

I’ve been having these weird insomniac issues lately. Like, last night I wasn’t able to fall asleep until after 5AM. I went into my room at about midnight, hopeful for an early night… and ended up reading almost the entire new DOUBLE issue of Entertainment Weekly, watched an episode of Gossip Girl on my computer, surfed the internet for about an hour, and then proceeded to play about two hours’ worth of Bejeweled 2. I finally turned the lights off after 5, it was already starting to get light outside, and just laid there for God only knows how long until I fell asleep.

I just graduated college and am waiting to move back home. In the meantime, I don’t have anything to do and am stuck in this sort of limbo because I can’t get a JOB to occupy my time, and I’m supposed to be saving my money, so I can’t really DO anything. So, I end up staying in my little apartment, going slightly mad I should say, and just waiting for a time when I actually have something to do.  Because of this, my sleep schedule has gotten all fucked up.  I can’t fall asleep until, as I’ve pointed out, really late at night, and I end up sleeping in way too late.  Today I woke up around 12:45PM.  And tonight, I’m sure it’ll happen ALL OVER AGAIN.

There have also been weird dreams going through my head at night. Has anyone else ever had test dreams? Like, you’re late for a test, or you missed a test, or you’re taking an important test that you don’t know any of the answers to? I’ve been having one of those dreams ALMOST EVERY NIGHT. I’m not in school anymore, I have to remind myself when I wake up in a cold sweat, it was just a dream.

These dreams usually happen whenever I haven’t written in a while. I’m a writer, and I think this is my brain telling me to get going again!

Maybe I should do that now. Probably not, but it’s nice to dream.  Dream of writing, I mean, not of missing tests.  I fucking hate that.

I was riding the bus the other day when a woman with a baby stroller came on.  Now, there’s a spot RIGHT AT THE FRONT OF THE BUS for people in wheelchairs or for mothers with baby carriages, yet she chose to push the damn this all the way to the middle of the bus, almost cutting some people’s legs off and sneering at them for being in her way.

She settles next to where I’m standing and proceeds to make googoo noises, pull crazy faces and repeatedly CLAP HER HANDS at the poor child staring up at her.  Now, this was one of the youngin’s that I actually like, one that you could tell had a brain because he had intelligent eyes, taking in everything around him, that sort of thing.  No unfocused eyes and drool soaking his shirt, you know?  He was a little older (1? 1 1/2?  Not old enough to talk, but not a newborn, either) with a mat of silky black hair and big blue eyes.

Eyes that were staring at the woman standing over him AS IF SHE WERE CRAZY.

What really caught my attention was the little thing the child was wrapped in.  It looked like a space-aged sleeping bag, made of this shiny, reflective silvery fabric and totally encased the poor child.  He also had on winter clothes.

It was 65°.  It was the middle of MAY.

Then, SHE PROCEEDED TO PUT A WOOL HAT ON HIS HEAD!

The kid actually started whining at that point, I don’t know, maybe because he was fucking HOT?

Are you kidding me with this, lady?  You’re going to boil your poor kid to death with that shit, or else give him heat stroke!  It’s probably your first baby and you just want to be protective, but you need to loosen up a little bit.  Yes, he’s a baby, but he’s still HUMAN.  You’re human, or at least I assume so.  Maybe a sweater would have been okay, but would YOU have wanted to go around that day in a sleeping bag, winter clothes and a wool hat?  COMMON SENSE, please pick some up at your nearest Walgreens.

All I can say is, WATCH THIS.

I have no words…

Okay, I lied… I have words.

Are you fucking kidding me?  This kid stands there, all proud of what he did, thinking he shouldn’t be punished except for NO GAMES FOR THE WEEKEND?  Did you SEE what he did to his grandmother’s SUV?  HE RIPPED THE FRONT AXLE OFF!  Don’t worry about getting arrested, honey, BEAT THAT KID’S ASS!

Oh lord…

Okay, so you all watched American Idol on Tuesday and Wednesday (shut up, I know you did!).  It was a really great night and had some TRULY great performances… and some truly SHITTY ones, too!

The two Davids knocked it out, no one can deny that!  And even, to my chagrin, Syesha did well…  Brooke totally fucks up, has to START OVER, and does a so-so rendition of her song, while Jason Castro… lord, DON’T GET ME STARTED!

Okay, here’s the thing about him.  He always sings these songs and turns them into fireside hippy crap.  You know what I mean, he makes them all sounds the same and all you can do is bob your head along to them.

So, below you will find Brooke and Jason’s performances:

Did he do anything but BREATHE?  I couldn’t get past all of the inhaling and exhaling.  And, it pretty much SUCKED.

Yet, on Wednesday, CARLY GETS ELIMINATED!  Now, I know what happened.  People felt sorry for Brooke (rightfully) and Jason (so WRONGFULLY), and decided to flood in votes because they didn’t think anyone else would.  So, because of that, CARLY and Syesha got in the bottom two!

You watched the above videos, now watch this one…  It’s of Carly singing “Jesus Christ Superstar”!

HOW AWESOME WAS THAT?  Right?  Oy vey.  America, SO got it wrong!

Now we have to go through another week with Jason!  I like Brooke, and think she just had an off night, so I’m glad she wasn’t eliminated.  But JASON!  Pur-LEASE!  GO AWAY ALREADY!

For the hell of it, here are the other three performances…!

(P.S. Robin - I added this post so the next one wouldn’t be the first thing you saw when you visited!)

Everyone remember the big thing that Dane Cook was able to get over 2 MILLION friends on MySpace?  Well, I was just curious to see what the number was now, and it’s up to 2,352,433.  BUT HALF OF THE PROFILES ARE DELETED.

On the first page of friends alone, 32 out of 40 profiles were deleted.  It gets a little better as you go in, but seriously, he needs to clear out his friends list!  I went through the first ten pages, and there was average of almost 11 people deleted per page.  Over the 58,811 pages of friends he has, that would equal almost 650,000 profiles that have been deleted!  Of course, I didn’t go through every page (that would be STUPID), and I’ll wager that that amount is on the high side, for sure… But still!  It was this BIG THING a while ago, and it’s a LIE.

Clear out your friends list, Dane, so we can get the REAL number!

To check out Dane’s friend list, make sure you’re logged into MySpace, and then click here.  I’m not sure if it’ll work if you don’t have an account, but you can try!

This site has been live for a little over two months now (YAY!).  Through the WordPress Plugin that allows me to see how many people visit the site and what they look at, it also tells me search engine terms that people type into places like Yahoo! and Google that link to my site…  Here are all of them.

Search	Views
bow chicka bow wow	27
tsm	11
pat	10
chicka bow wow	3
genius babies	3
chad faust in person	3
holocaust	2
safesearch is off	2
pat kerr	2
“bow chicka bow wow”	2
site:images.filecloud.com rape	2
work safe blog	2
genius baby	2
bow chicka wow wow	1
bow chicka bow wow?	1
slurred olivia svu	1
nazi paper	1
baby kid	1
august rush image of back cover of dvd c	1
nazi germany	1
“i was raped” shirt	1
angela bright	1
work safe	1
all-in-one sweet tarts rope help	1
oh chicka bow wow	1
tall people	1
bodies from nazi holocaust	1
nazi mass grave	1
“unable to get myself off”	1
you don’t scare me	1
baby invitations	1
ashlee simpson little miss obsessive	1
bow chika bow wow	1
august rush theories	1
“ashlee simpson” “little miss obsessive”	1
movie of males getting raped( raped scen	1
bow chicka bow wow!	1
chicka chicka bow bow	1
i shouldn’t look at	1
baby shower invites diaper	1
shouldn’t look	1
fat babies	1
baby shower invitations	1
babies who just pooped	1
kid raped	1
bow wows haircuts	1
tattoos of sexual assault ribbons	1
“charlie bit me”	1

Now, some of those make sense.  Others, you know, frighten me a little.  What makes me laugh is that our MOST SEARCHED TERM result is “bow chicka bow wow” and a few other variations of the same thing, which I used in this post.  Really, people search for that?  I guess so, if they also search for “pat kerr” (I’m officially offended, by the way.), “i shouldn’t look at” (What? DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING!) and “all-in-one sweet tarts rope help” (I didn’t realize they were so hard to eat!).  OH, and to the person who searched for “babies who just pooped”… email me.  And the person who’s “unable to get [him/her]self off”, Angela has some nice books you might want to check out.

I’m not even going to mention some of the other ones.  I’ve crossed them out because they’re disgusting…!  You’re going to Hell.  And not the same circle of Hell that I’m going to be in, because that’s reserved for cynics and people who curse in front of their mothers (guilty).  You’re going to be several circles below me so that I can pee on your head.  A lot.  And I’m going to enjoy it.  (Bring on the search engine links for watersports!)

Okay, I saw this clip posted over at dooce (whom I LOVE!), and just HAD to share it with you.  Check out what dooce has to say about it here, because she does it more elequantly than I ever could…

You don’t think the commercial could possibly be about what you first think it is… but it SO IS.  Check it out below:

Thanks to this video, today will go down as one of the best days of my life.  EVER.

It’s amazing the things you learn about your parents as you grow older.  When you’re younger, you idolize them, think of them as infallable superpeople who are impervious to disease, distruction, and natural disasters alike.

But then they do shit like this.  More specifically, my father…

My parents made an arrangement with my sister that they would pay for her first year of school, so they passed on this offer to me.  They never told me about this, they just started paying it.  After my first year of college, I found out about it and told them to stop paying it.  It was an additional $250 bucks or so a month that they didn’t need to pay, and I knew I was going to have a shitload of debt anyway, and what was another $10,000?

So, a few months later they decided to refinance their mortgage, and pay off all of their credit cards, their cars, and a number of other things so that they would only have one monthly payment.  Sounds fair enough.  But, because I took back the loan, they offered to pay off my car, which was equal to the amount of the loan for my first year of college.  They did this BECAUSE I took back the loan, and was not part of any deal we hatched to exchange loans (this is an important distinction).

I was talking to my father yesterday, and expressing my idea to sell my car to pay off my immediate debt and give me a little cash cushion when I start my life after graduation (which is in 3 weeks!).  Because I am in Boston and the car is in Pennsylvania, I asked him if he would be willing to handle the sale, and I would be willing to give him 5% (which would be at LEAST $500, because I won’t sell the car for less than $10,000).  Sounds like a good deal, right?

He proceeds to tell me that, because he is permanently disabled, there is a way for him to get loans he signed for BEFORE he was permanently disabled forgiven, which would include my first year school loan.  Fantastic!  That would really help me out in the long run, because it would be $10K less that I’d have to worry about repaying!

The next few words out of his mouth were the ones that shocked me.  He claims that, because this loan might be forgiven and they are still paying off the consolidation loan they put my car under, that I should give him $8,000 from the sale of my car.

WHAT?

At first I thought he was joking, but he really wasn’t.  He thinks that, because he is changing the circumstances, that I should just give him $8,000 in cash?  $8,000 that I’m trying to use to start my life debt free?  Remember, my parents were the ones who OFFERED to pay off my car BECAUSE I took back my first year loan… something I did because I was concerned about THEIR finances, with no regard to how it would affect me in the long run.

Wouldn’t you think that any other father would see this as a gift for their child?  What person, in their right mind, would automatically jump to the conclusion that I should just hand over $8,000?

Dad, thanks, but no thanks.  If that’s the price of your GENEROSITY, I think I’ll pass.  I’ll just pay for the loan myself, LIKE I PLANNED TO DO FROM THE BEGINNING.