Yeah, Great Blog…

After being hit on by Mr. Dial Breath, I thought my day could not be any more complete.  I was mistaken.

While at my second job, I hear my friend yell to me “FRAN!  Someone’s buying your dress!”  (Side note:  I had purchased a different dress the day before for a wedding, but I had considered the garment that was now behind the register before the dress I actually bought won out).

No worries.  Now picture this:  a tall, fairly large man in a football jersey, with a bit of a goatee.  Got it?

Okay, the dress was for him.  I think the color would have complimented his skin tone nicely, and I kind of wonder if it looked better on him than it did me.

At least he has good taste. 

So, I was sitting at the front desk at work yesterday when suddenly, an elderly man with a walker walks (wheels?  whatever) over to me.  

“I wonder if I have bad breath,” he says to me.  I shrug.

“When I was in the service, we used to brush our teeth with soap.  I like it better than toothpaste,” he continues.  I step into this one… I have to.

“Doesn’t that taste bad?” I ask him.

“Dial is about the best,” he tells me.  “I like the taste.”

Apparently, this response is just not enough for me to nod politely and go on my way.  After a brief chat about dental care (and my suggestion that if he does not enjoy toothpaste, maybe he should try nature’s toothbrush: the apple), he asks if I am married, or have a boyfriend, and then follows said questions with:

“You should come and chat with me sometime.” (insert thoughtful pause) “Oh wait, you can’t, you have a boyfriend.”

Yes folks, I have just been hit on by a man old enough to be my grandfather.  Now, beauty is only a light switch away for some, but I don’t think there is enough tequila in the world that can make that the case.  Even if his gums are moisturized by the gentle formula of Dial soap.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.  Again.