Yeah, Great Blog…

So this site has been pretty much forgotten, yes? Is anyone still reading?

Well fear not! I am here with a new sex toy that will rock your world. Forget the sex swing and the ramp, I want the Body Bouncer. This thing looks amazing! It cost $199.95, which sounds like a lot, but this thing has potential. It also seems to be a lot less conspicuous then the 2 other items I mentioned.

I mean…will you look at the groove gallery? This thing has some SERIOUS potential. The ones I would be trying first: Sixty-Nine, Ninety-Six, Doghouse, Bliss Box, Plunger…I could go one. I really want this.

Hey, it is my birthday in 5 days. Maybe I’ll get one for that!

You may have noticed by now that my scattered appearances on this site are always about sex. Yeah… that probably isn’t going to change. I do have other fun and exciting topics for you, but forgive me if I have to work myself up to them. I mean, it is one thing to bring up Shindler’s Fist as casual dinner conversation, but as far as putting it on the internet where at some point my mother might come across it? It is a little unnerving.

Anywho, this entry is not about my vag (you’re welcome, Kyle), but it is an open ended question to the fellas in the house.

What is with masturbating into socks? I totally don’t get it. I mean… I am a lezzie and stuff so I’m not even sure, but does that shit wash out? Aren’t those socks dirty to have so close to your man parts? If they are clean then why not use them for your feet… to wear!

I would suggest jacking off with a condom on, but I don’t know if that works or not. If anything else a towel seems good. Plus I hear a lot of dudes do it in the shower. That seems like the best bet, but if you choose to do so you should definitely clean it up. I can imagine how pissed I would be if I went to take a shower and all my bath stuff was covered in gizz (jizz?). That would suck.

Total side note: Carly gets kicked off Idol? Wtf?

Can I talk about that which we are not supposed to talk about? Great!

Masturbation! Most people do it and most people don’t talk about it. I will talk about pretty much anything as long as it makes someone uncomfortable. However, I pretty much suck at masturbating. I get bored, it’s very nonsexual and I usually stop trying about two minutes in. I think this may be due to the fact that I haven’t been single since I was 15.

In any case I had some alone time this weekend because my girlfriend is away visiting her family. Last night I made attempt at the Big M and I have to wonder if other people have similar thought processes to me while pleasuring themselves… somehow I doubt it.

While most people would fill their heads with lusty fantasies, I started thinking about living in a Teepee and Native American weapons. That lead to a debate between Native American weapons and their effect against the settler’s guns. Which lead me to think about how different civilizations develop so differently and if that difference really matters or means that one group is better at advancing than another. Then I realized the whole ordeal really wasn’t heading somewhere so I just stopped.

I’m a feminist for crying out loud! Feminists are supposed to rock at the masturbation thing. I even read this book once called, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dobson. Yup, no dice.

I guess it is just something that some people can do and some people can’t… or at least I will think that when I meet someone else who can’t masturbate. Until then I’ll always have the teepees.

Hello guys!

For my first post here we are going to talk about something very near and dear to my heart. That something is lube. Now, I don’t know much about straight sex, but I do know a lot about lesbian sex and anal sex, so I know lube. Aren’t you happy to be reading this?

First of all, let me just talk about sex positive sex toy stores. If you don’t purchase your goods from a reputable, thoughtful caring sex toy store you are doing no one a favor. So if you’re going to spend the money you might as well spend it somewhere nice. (I recommend Babeland for info, photos and web design, but purchasing at Blowfish for prices. That is just me.)

Back to lube. In my opinion the MOST important aspect of sex is proper lubrication and sometimes that just doesn’t come naturally.  For those times you will need to keep a good lube around. There are several different kinds of lubrication: water-based, flavored (which I don’t quite understand), silicone, and oil-based. They all have their different advantages and disadvantages.

1. Water-based - My personal favorite.  I will detail a little more in this, but I like water-based as long as you get a good one.

2. Flavored - One of the more unnecessary products out there. The only use I can think it would have is if you are trying to mask the taste of something… but if you don’t like the taste of vagina or penises, maybe you’re in the wrong business, you know? I guess you could use it for rimming, but really a clean ass, unlike a vagina, tastes like nothing. Perhaps that is more for another day.

3. Silicone is particularly problematic because if you are using it with silicone toys (the safest material for toys) it can cause damage to your toys. Otherwise it is a superior lubricant. More expensive though.

4. Oil-based - They pretty much suck. They aren’t really made for sexual activity and they can destroy latex. Leaving you wide open for an STD. Good for male solo masturbation only.  They could be used for anal sex, but that would be an unwise choice. Plus water-based lube Maximus does a much better job.

I have tried probably about 30 different lubes since I became sexually active and only one has proven itself to be consistently up to the task. That lube is Liquid Silk. It’s awesome! It feels like the real thing! It rocks! Plus at $13.95 for 250 ml it’s really not that expensive. If fisting and anal is more your thing you are better off getting Maximus. It’s the same lube just stronger.

Hooray for lubricant!